Candor. This has to be the new corporate buzzword. Somebody must have revived it in a new management book or said it in a podcast, and now it's the thing to do around the office. Don't get me wrong, I love it. I appreciate candor and relish every opportunity to use it. The problem for me is that for some reason, candor has become something we only do in very specific situations and we do it ever so carefully. So carefully that we've conditioned ourselves to ask permission before delivering a candid message.
How many times have you heard someone say, "can I be candid with you?" or "may I be candid?" No, you may not, I want you to lie and allow me to continue living in this magical fantasy land where all my work is perfect and everything I do is absolutely error free. When did we get so afraid of telling the truth?
If you are in a leadership position and you have a problem delivering or receiving candor, you need to reconsider the job you are in. The people who report to you expect and deserve it. The people you report to expect and deserve it. You're doing everybody a disservice by not giving them what they want and deserve. One of the most most unfortunate facts about candor is that it doesn't seem to permeate through a company like other behaviors. You'll usually have pockets of candor sprinkled throughout. A few people here and there. The leaders comfortable with it are easy to spot. They generally lead high performing teams that love to be challenged, are willing to take risks, and normally breed the future leaders of the organization. The leaders who aren't comfortable with candor are even easier to spot. I call them "The Avoiders."
Most companies have them. They're the leaders who think every idea, in every meeting, is a great one. They shake their head up and down all the time, they vote the way of the majority, they never rock the boat, they avoid responding to challenging emails, and they ask questions that place imaginary checks in imaginary boxes (because you know the boss keeps a list of everybody who asks a question, right). If you pay very close attention you'll notice that they ask questions that have already been asked, they just use different words. If someone calls them out, they deflect with, "oh, I didn't realize that was what you meant, excellent, thank you." If an Avoider has to have a one on one with someone who isn't meeting expectations, they invite others to that meeting and they'll ask that other person what they think in hopes he or she will cover the "sensitive" issues. The Avoider will say things like, "I agree with what he said, but I want you to know how much I appreciate your work."
If you have a retention problem in a certain work-group, chances are you have an Avoider in the leadership ranks. Candor isn't just for negative messages. You need to practice candor even when delivering recognition. This may seem like a ridiculous concept, but think about it, Avoiders generally aren't recognizing their teams either. You would think it's easy to say good job, but if we recognized our employees regularly, and deservedly, we would have much more productive teams, motivated teams, happier teams. An Avoider won't even recognize good performance when it's appropriate that's why they are usually the root cause of turn over. Disengaged, unappreciated workers will leave. You want to know when you'll see an Avoider delivering positive feedback....when they have to deliver negative feedback. They will use the positive to mask the real message and just sprinkle in some of the negative. The employee usually leaves these meetings thoroughly confused and the Avoider will proclaim to the boss, with his chest out and hands on the hips, that he "had the conversation" and "it went very well." Please.....
Another common technique of an Avoider is the blanket statement. This is when they gather several people in a room and tell everybody that a specific behavior needs to stop, or that they should no longer do something. This works for getting a whole team to correct a systemic problem, but it never works to correct an individual's behavioral problem. This allows the Avoider to feel as if they corrected something without ever having to sit someone down and tell them one on one, face to face. When you use a blanket statement like this, the one person who the message is for usually never thinks you're talking about them and the behavior doesn't change.
The military is a great example of an organization that has perfected candor. If your boots are not shined well enough, you will be told your boots are not shined. If your uniform is not pressed well enough, you will told your uniform is not pressed. If you cannot run fast enough, you will be told you are too slow. If there's one thing you can absolutely count on, it's that the message about what's wrong will be perfectly clear and you will know exactly what needs to be fixed. Isn't that what we all want? A clear and concise message.
Candor isn't easy. Like everything else, there is a right and wrong way to do it. You have to know your audience, you have to consider the timing, you should know the bigger picture, and you need to have a safe environment for it. Just because you can say it, doesn't always mean you should. You still have to be smart about it especially if you're directing it up. As a leader, you should build a culture where candor is respected and appreciated. Allow your direct reports to practice candor with you. Appreciate it when they correctly identify something and coach them if they get off course or comment on something they clearly don't fully understand. Is somebody going to mess it up, of course they are. That's an opportunity for someone else who's more experienced to step in and candidly coach that person. And remember, candor is best served warm. If you start your candid message with, "Four weeks ago you did this....." shame on you for letting that behavior continue for four weeks. Chances are the person won't remember and to be candid, you just stole a developmental opportunity from them.
Leadership isn't comfortable. If you think it is, you're doing it wrong.
